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  • Why are Japanese RPG’s so … ummm … gay?

    Posted October 23, 2006 by Kevin

    If there’s one thing I think we can all agree on, it’s that Japanese gamers love cute things. Almost everything that escapes the land of the rising sun has the patented Japanese sugar coating better known as “cute”. While this is fine for games like Pokemon, or Animal Crossing, I am getting sick of more-serious games that seem to have an identity crisis.

    DISCLAIMER:
    Before I go any further, I should probably warn those who are easily offended to stop reading now. The remainder of this article contains highly offensive material for all the Final Fantasy fanboys out there.

    Okay, so for those of you still with me, you may be asking yourself what I mean by games with an identity crisis. Allow me to explain. If you’re going to make a game where the storyline is serious in nature, with guns and swords, the end of the world, corrupt governments, or some other vague evil presence hell bent on overtaking the world; can we at least have the hero not look like a flamboyant metrosexual with a sword?

    I don’t understand how you get a hero like Cloud from FF VII - who looks like some pasty kid that’s spent way too much time in front of the mirror with a can of hairspray, after editing his crappy myspace profile and listening to emo music. This is a role playing game we’re talking about right? Who in their right mind (besides these three guys) wants to role play as this guy?

    Honestly, am I supposed to take anyone serious who wears more lipstick than my grandma? Cloud looks more like Ashlee Simpson than someone who stands half a chance against any formiddable enemy. Although, I can’t say his competition is any better. Sephiroth is about as girly as they come … maybe even worse than Cloud.

    Still not convinced? Well, it’s not just FF VII characters that look like they just walked off the set of a boyband video shoot. Even Dante from Devil May Cry didn’t escape untouched. Not to mention Tidus from FF X and this guy.

    I think it’s time for Square-Enix, along with all the Japanese developers, to learn something from American RPG’s. I mean, look at Kratos - here’s a hero that rips peoples arms off and then uses them to beat down everyone around him. You don’t get much more badass than that.

    Or how about one of my favorite all-time enemies, Diablo. The spikes, horns, claws, and razor sharp teeth - everything about him says “I will kick your ass!!”. Not exactly the type of guy I’d like to meet in a dark alley late at night … or anytime of night for that matter.

    So how ’bout it Japan? How about we stop it with the homoerotic heroes, and move onto something a little more macho? Haven’t we all been scarred enough already by having do endure Cloud and the gang? Don’t make me endure another adventure through a beautifully rendered world … only to realize I’m some skinny metrosexual in leather overalls every time I look at my character on screen.

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    Read More: Fanboys, Japan


    Comments


  • comment_image Yuki Says:

    Well,you know… girls love “metrosexual boys with swords” like Cloud and Sephiroth. XD
    I really prefer to look at Cloud then Kratos when I’m playing!!!

  • xpocalypse Says:

    Good points buddy…HA!

    “Eyeliner”: It’s called “Frustration sag”, i believe. It occurs from insomnia(sephy’s got that), frustration, or stress.

    “Lipstick”: People say this all the time, but truth is, our lips are that color naturally, so nice one ;D. We all have a different shade from red to purple.

    “Hairspray”: Umm… Ever heard of srawing style? It’s anime, you’re going to see that ALOT. Welcome to the world of difference.

    Kratos: Those are stitches? Looks more like kiddy band-aids. Aw…Did the little “badass get a boo-boo? Bad goatee, looks ridiculous. Doesn’t look like a badass ass-kicker, lloks more like he’s going to cry in that picture.

    Diablos: Animation at it’s cheesiest. I don’t find him cool or scary. He looks like he was made for an NES, but was thrown into and Xbox 360 game. Nice animation there. :D

    Explain your reasons, please.

  • comment_image Kevin Says:

    Explain my reasons? I already did, go re-read the article.

  • Nachtholm Says:

    I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks man!

    Next, I have to compare a Japanese-style badass and an American-style badass…

    American badasses are generally less than personable, have SEVERE aggression issues and a general contempt for any opinion that is not theirs… That and a penchant for KILLING anything that gets in their way in a myriad number of gruesome and creative ways. A person who can get shot, stabbed, beaten, crushed and blown up only to get back up and continue the fight and/or slaughter. (Hence Kratos as an example).
    The Japanese badass is an entirely different creature. A Japanese badass tends toward the “gentleman warrior” aspect. The sort of person, who while generally polite (not necessarily personable, but polite) yet can take on an entire army all by his lonesome, then kill them all quickly and efficiently without getting a scratch or so much as disturbing a hair on his head. Then finish off an extra street gang, show up on time for his date and, despite all the fighting and killing, not have a single wrinkle in his perfectly pressed Armani suit.

    The real question is which person you consider more awesome: Rambo or James Bond.

    Personally, I’d say Bond hands down.

  • im_your_villain Says:

    I’ll say it; I love Final Fantasy. And FFVII’s my favorite. And while I agree that the main characters are feminine-looking, I also have to say that the characters are they way they are because the companies want to appeal to girls as much as guys. And while I did start playing Final Fantasy because VII of the great storyline, I do like looking at the characters. It’s just a plus.

    On a side note…Vincent Valentine is way more emo than Cloud.

  • oxygensnoboard Says:

    Well, when you think about what is truly manly, what comes to mind? to me manliness is best related to courage and self-reliance. So when it comes to appearance, the most manly thing you can do is look more feminine. cause the truth is that women dictate what is manly, not men. so if they prefer a more feminine look, then there you go, provided you can still maintain your own comfort with sexuality and your personality. Lets have a look at Kratos… He is a Spartan, if I remember correctly…now dont get me wrong, I love GOD OF WAR….but Sparta was one of the GAYEST nations ever assembled. If you know anything about it’s real historical facts and not just games you would know. Generals encouraged their soilders to “LOVE” one another. 2 reasons for which. 1.to keep them focused during battle. 2.so they would fight more tanaciously to protect one another. Now on the other hand. Japanese encouraged their women into lesbianism. In order to please their husband they would practice with each other and with their husband. I think I would choose the 3 way over the gay sex….and you gotta remember that FFVII is a Japanese made game, marketed to everyone, not just men. Not alot of female players in the US so we get more gory action games with stupid plots….GOD OF WAR being one of those…. and I personally prefer having a great plot, so you make connections with the characters and it becomes more of an experience than just a game

  • Pyroblasts Says:

    It’s called style. Everyone’s a critic, and I cannot believe you took the time to write this lame article. You try to employ humor in this context, but all it reads as a bias opinion on a game/character style. Grow up and appreciate art for what it is.

    And that Diablo picture you posted has NOTHING on the conceptual aspect of Final Fantasy characters, it’s like “Rawr, I’m badass and have spikes, oh noes watch out” which is lame. There’s much more emotion and a profound connection to the viewer when looking at FF characters to me. What’s more scarier to you, a cereal killer that looks like a normal average person, or a cereal killer with a sign on him that reads “I am a cereal killer”. Subtlety kid, look up the word.


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