RSS
Top 7 Games Your Kids Should Avoid!
Posted December 5, 2007 by GuerrsIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
AOL’s main page linked to a story titled “Top 7 Games Your Kids Should Avoid!!!!” (Exclamations added for ridiculously dramatic effect) Naturally, the first game on the list is Manhunt 2, but then things just get weird. It’s almost like they wanted to tell people to avoid Manhunt 2, but didn’t want to call it out by itself, so they created an arbitrary list around it. As we all know, people love lists.
So here are, according to “GameDaily,” the 7 games your kids should never, ever play in no particular order.
Manhunt 2
Fine, I can’t argue with simulated murder with the Wii Remote! Kids should have to wait before they can pretend to strangle people.
Call of Duty 4.
I thought this was on the list because of its realistic depiction of battle. But GameDaily’s reason is because an attack dog chews your throat up. The fact that they recommend the DS version because it’s rated Teen is strange, because it’s still an endorsement for the game. So you’re allowed to shoot humans…
Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles
…But not zombies. For this one, they mention that the game encourages that you “point the Wii at the screen like a gun.” Haven’t they ever heard of Duck Hunt? At least zombies aren’t even real.
Gears of War
Oh, add aliens to the list of fictional things kids shouldn’t kill.
Beowulf: The Game.
I would recommend kids stay away from this too, but mostly because it’s based on a movie.
Conan
Hmm, blood…
… And boobs.
Maybe this one’s justified. Maybe.
Unreal Tournament III
Both Unreal and Gears of War are noted for their violence and also their liberal use of F-Bombs and Shit-Bullets. (not actual weapons in the game.) Most likely, kids were spouting these words out long before video games got a hold of them. I bet kids probably swear more during gameplay than the game itself.
By the way, who makes a Top 7 list? Odd numbers are for losers. They clearly didn’t have enough content to fill the list, and don’t even specify the age range they’re talking about. I think we should be warning parents to keep their kids away from truly evil games. Games that ruin even the most unstoppable superheroes in a single cartridge.
Yeah, like that. Kids, don’t ever play this game.
Add a comment:
You must be logged in to post a comment.